9/9

tired of trying to come up with titles for these. just gonna use the date from now on i think. anyway i havent heard from john except through here. i dont know what the fuck is going on, or how much of what hes saying is true or if hes just holed up in his house taking pills or what. he wont answer the phone, he wont respond to emails, and he doesnt have a facebook so thats out.

im still pissed at him even if im worried about him. and hes obviously fucking crazy and a biblethumping asshole. but this stuff with his dad well. his dad has always been kinda weird. i never thought he was abusive or violent or anything before but who knows.

i wonder when everyones lives got so fucked up. daves gone. rachels a mess. johns more crazy than ever and maybe his dad too. its like this whole town is living in a state of emergency. i dont see people on the streets anymore and when i do theyre walking fast and looking down. i even saw william the other day. thats never a good sign.

im not really sure why im writing this. i dont really have anyone to talk to lately. rachel spends all her time reading and she was my last real contact with the world. and i'm not the kind of crazy fucker who talks to god so. i wish itd stop raining